Jocks run the world. You know the type. If you don't attend a High School football game and observe closely. Jocks are arrogant. That is qualification number one. You must be arrogant. You must think that you are the greatest athlete, manager, (insert position here) that ever lived. You can do no wrong. Others should bow to your wishes. Jocks are also agressive. They love the game, whatever the game may be.
Jocks love competition. They love to beat someone else. To win. They also love sports. Football, baseball, basketball, you name it. They love it. They generally play golf though they may not love to watch it.
They read the boss like reading a football play and it is the same to them. Football or office politics. They can no longer play football so they play office politics with the same fervor they played football and that they now watch football.
They will talk about football or other sports for hours at work and surf ESPN and other sports websites for hours. This is OK. It is a part of the job and is expected by the "winners". However, if someone else in the office is caught on Facebook or a game website even for 30 nanoseconds then he can be severely punished. And oh it is almost embezzlement if one is caught talking about their latest mission on World of Warcraft much less looking at the game website on a company internet connection.
You see sports is OK but WoW is not because jocks run the world.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Job Inteview Scam
I read somewhere that a study once proved what we all already know. That is that most job interviews are a farce. Most of the time the candidate is already chosen before the interview process even starts. The interview is just to make it appear that the process is fair.
I've been on the other side of the interview table watching candidates who had diligently prepared for the interview "compete" against an the winning candidate. He wore shorts and made no effort to dress up for the interview process. Others had spent hours making presentations and such to prepare for the interview.
When the interview team came together at the completion of all of the interviews it was immediately clear to me that the process had been a sham. The boss knew who she was going to hire and no other candidate would do. The choice had been made long before the job was even opened. She knew it and the winning candidate knew it too.
Because of employment law and company policy the hiring manager could not simply say that she wanted John to take the job. She had to jump through the hoops. She would have denied that she played favorites and would have simply said that he was the most qualified for the position. He was the most qualified because she tailored the qualifications to match him.
This situation plays out thousands of times each day. People go to job interviews well scrubbed having spent hours preparing for a job that they don't have a snowball's chance in #@%! of getting because Fred was just playing golf with the boss last week and Fred had the job a month before it even opened.
I've been on the other side of the interview table watching candidates who had diligently prepared for the interview "compete" against an the winning candidate. He wore shorts and made no effort to dress up for the interview process. Others had spent hours making presentations and such to prepare for the interview.
When the interview team came together at the completion of all of the interviews it was immediately clear to me that the process had been a sham. The boss knew who she was going to hire and no other candidate would do. The choice had been made long before the job was even opened. She knew it and the winning candidate knew it too.
Because of employment law and company policy the hiring manager could not simply say that she wanted John to take the job. She had to jump through the hoops. She would have denied that she played favorites and would have simply said that he was the most qualified for the position. He was the most qualified because she tailored the qualifications to match him.
This situation plays out thousands of times each day. People go to job interviews well scrubbed having spent hours preparing for a job that they don't have a snowball's chance in #@%! of getting because Fred was just playing golf with the boss last week and Fred had the job a month before it even opened.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Midlife Motorcycle Crisis
My mother, who is a family counselor, calls the 40's the screaming 40's. That would accurately describe my life stage on many days. In the 40's you have plenty of responsibility, realize you are physically on the downhill side of life, and that you will proba
bly never achieve what you thought you would.
For the past several years I have had an increasing desire for a motorcycle. I had four motorcycles as a kid and sold the last one when I was about 19. I even took a 3,000 mile trip once.
On the trip I learned the following:
As I said, non-cyclists won't understand and no amount of talking will change their minds. No experience matches that of riding a motorcycle.
I've spent hours of precious CPA study time researching motorcycles. The following four bikes are the contenders:
KLR 650:
Weighs over 400 pounds and is a bit tall for me. It would be a beast on any real trail. It is really more of a sport/adventure bike like the more expensive BMW' and it begs to be taken on a long cruise.
DR650:
Lighter and shorter than the KLR but still around 400 pounds.
An air cooled engine means one less thing to break.
Fast enough to ride down the freeway all day but nimble enough to tackle a mild trail.
Why not just a dirt bike? Because I do not want to hassle with loading the thing up on a truck or trailer.
Data driven decisions are usually the best as long as the data and analysis are good and the data from NHTSA.gov says that.... drum roll please...
MOTORCYCLES ARE DANGEROUS!
Most folks could tell you that at first glance but how dangerous are they?
Motorcycle deaths have risen for the past 10 years while auto deaths have declined. Air bags, seat belts, and crumple zones are not available on motorcycles. ABS systems are becoming available but motorcycles already stop faster than cars anyway.
If you look at the government statistics on motorcycle accidents you are 35 times more likely to die on a bike than in a car if you are in an accident and you are eight times more likely to get in an accident.
A review of statistics for 2007 shows that risk can be mitigated though by the following:
Statistics never tell the whole story. The deaths do not include all of the amputated legs, wretched backs, brain damaged bodies, broken bones, severed spinal cords, and so forth from accidents where the rider survived but has not much of a life.
Modern medical technology can bring about results that make the Spanish inquisition look like a picnic. At least in the middle ages you would probably die mercifully soon from an infection or starvation. Our technology and over zealous emergency room personnel can keep you alive for years when you should have died on the scene.
Motorcycle riders blame the car drivers and much of that is justified. However, you are not likely to change human behavior quickly. People are no more or less stupid now than they were 10 years ago. Seat belt use has increased mainly due to laws requiring them but so has cell phone use, texting, ipods, etc.
You can't do much to improve the crash worthiness of a motorcycle. The brakes are already better and bikes are beginning to come with ABS. The bikes are much better at griping the road and are smoother than they were years ago. The cars on the other hand are far better than they were 10 years ago and are getting more idiot proof all the time.
Safety gear can save you from road rash and much of the time can keep your brain intact but a few inches of protective gear is no match for a two ton SUV. The rider has to prevent the crash in the first place.
As for my personal observations, in the several years that I've been thinking about a motorcycle I've seen first hand two mangled bikes with paramedics working on the cyclist. One appeared to be a farm bike and a medical helicopter was in the field across the street.
I've also known numerous people who died in car accidents, from heart attacks, from cancer, from guns, and from other things. Life is dangerous and nobody gets out of life alive. We have a 100% chance of dying.
That said, I have no desire for a ride on a life flight helicopter or a permanent seat in a wheelchair. I do not wish to leave my wife to fend for herself or my children to be raised by somebody else and I'm not sure I'm quite prepared to meet my maker just yet.
Now I have established that motorcycles are dangerous but that the rider can tilt the odds somewhat better in his favor it is on to the decision.
I want the motorcycle for the following reasons:
I believe I can mitigate the risk sufficiently that it is an acceptable one. I do not desire to ride much on the street. The odds are against you but a few fair weather commutes to work could be good for the mind.
The trails I can greatly control by putting along at a reasonable speed. The highways are a combat zone and I have only so much control over that risk. I have no desire to go into combat one bit less protected than I have to. The bike needs to be street legal to get to the trails or from one trail to another but the street is no place to hang out on two wheels for this middle aged body.
And the decision is......
I want a motorcycle. I've signed up for the motorcycle safety course...
But...
The safety course is as far as I am going for now but not for the reasons that you might think.
First, I have about 10 lofty goals that must be achieved before I will allow myself to buy a motorcycle.
The decision comes down to time and money. Children, wife, educational pursuits, church, and work ensure that I have no time for riding the trails and no money to spend on a motorcycle anytime soon.
I will just ride the trails in my mind for now while I work on my goals. My heart tells me that the time will come that I'll be happily putting along and enjoying the outdoors on my bike but not in the very near future.
bly never achieve what you thought you would.For the past several years I have had an increasing desire for a motorcycle. I had four motorcycles as a kid and sold the last one when I was about 19. I even took a 3,000 mile trip once.
On the trip I learned the following:
- Big trucks blow motorcycles around and more trucks are out at night
- A late 70's model Honda 500 rides like a split rail fence after a few days
- Even a concrete picnic bench can give you a good nights sleep if you are tired enough
- Puncture vine is bad on air mattresses
- 100+ degree temperature will decrease the life of a motorcycle tire.
- 100+ degree temperatures feels like riding through an oven
- No matter how hot it is on the desert floor it is cold at night on a mountain.
- Long sleeved shirts avoid sunburn
- A cheap helmet can make you temporarily deaf
- Don't put luggage where it blocks airflow to an air cooled engine
- Some motels have bed bugs
- There is no experience like a long trip on a motorcycle. Nothing else comes close.
As I said, non-cyclists won't understand and no amount of talking will change their minds. No experience matches that of riding a motorcycle.
I've spent hours of precious CPA study time researching motorcycles. The following four bikes are the contenders:
- 2009 or newer Kawasaki KLX 250S
- Yamaha XT 250
- 2008 or newer Kawasaki KLR 650
- Suzuki DR 650
- Top speed around 90 mph. Fast enough for a short freeway trip but can't sustain the speed.
- Light enough to easily handle.
- No temptation to take a long trip.
- Best rated and most advanced of the current 250's offered.
KLR 650:
Weighs over 400 pounds and is a bit tall for me. It would be a beast on any real trail. It is really more of a sport/adventure bike like the more expensive BMW' and it begs to be taken on a long cruise.
DR650:
Lighter and shorter than the KLR but still around 400 pounds.
An air cooled engine means one less thing to break.
Fast enough to ride down the freeway all day but nimble enough to tackle a mild trail.
Why not just a dirt bike? Because I do not want to hassle with loading the thing up on a truck or trailer.
Data driven decisions are usually the best as long as the data and analysis are good and the data from NHTSA.gov says that.... drum roll please...
MOTORCYCLES ARE DANGEROUS!
Most folks could tell you that at first glance but how dangerous are they?
Motorcycle deaths have risen for the past 10 years while auto deaths have declined. Air bags, seat belts, and crumple zones are not available on motorcycles. ABS systems are becoming available but motorcycles already stop faster than cars anyway.
If you look at the government statistics on motorcycle accidents you are 35 times more likely to die on a bike than in a car if you are in an accident and you are eight times more likely to get in an accident.
A review of statistics for 2007 shows that risk can be mitigated though by the following:
- Don't ride drunk. Over 30% of fatalities were drunk.
- Don't ride fast. About half of the fatal accidents were single vehicle accidents
- Stay off of super sport motorcycles (aka crotch rockets)
- Get training & licences (26% were not licenced & 50% of fatalities were singe vehicle crashes)
- Wear bright colored gear including a full face helmet, armored jacket, boots, and armored pants. This would save many trips to the hospital and the morgue. (Helmets are 37% effective in preventing death. That number would probably go up if the helmets were all full face helmets. 78% of the the motorcycles in two vehicle accidents were struck in the front and 5% were struck in the rear)
- Since 78% of the bikes were struck in the front that means that the bike hit the car. Get training & be very able to handle the bike to its cornering limits.
- Don't ride at night
- Approach intersections with extreme caution & wear bright colored clothes. (Fifty percent or more of all two-vehicle crashes involving a motorcycle and a passenger vehicle in which the motorcycle rider died were intersection crashes.)
- Ride on the freeway when you can. (Over, 90 percent of all two-vehicle crashes involving a motorcycle and a passenger vehicle in which the motorcycle rider died occurred on non-interstate roadways.)
- Ditto above for visible clothing. (In 2007, there were 2,332 two-vehicle fatal crashes involving a motorcycle and another type of vehicle. In 40 percent of these crashes, the other vehicle was turning left while the motorcycle was going straight, passing, or overtaking the vehicle.)
Statistics never tell the whole story. The deaths do not include all of the amputated legs, wretched backs, brain damaged bodies, broken bones, severed spinal cords, and so forth from accidents where the rider survived but has not much of a life.
Modern medical technology can bring about results that make the Spanish inquisition look like a picnic. At least in the middle ages you would probably die mercifully soon from an infection or starvation. Our technology and over zealous emergency room personnel can keep you alive for years when you should have died on the scene.
Motorcycle riders blame the car drivers and much of that is justified. However, you are not likely to change human behavior quickly. People are no more or less stupid now than they were 10 years ago. Seat belt use has increased mainly due to laws requiring them but so has cell phone use, texting, ipods, etc.
You can't do much to improve the crash worthiness of a motorcycle. The brakes are already better and bikes are beginning to come with ABS. The bikes are much better at griping the road and are smoother than they were years ago. The cars on the other hand are far better than they were 10 years ago and are getting more idiot proof all the time.
Safety gear can save you from road rash and much of the time can keep your brain intact but a few inches of protective gear is no match for a two ton SUV. The rider has to prevent the crash in the first place.
As for my personal observations, in the several years that I've been thinking about a motorcycle I've seen first hand two mangled bikes with paramedics working on the cyclist. One appeared to be a farm bike and a medical helicopter was in the field across the street.
I've also known numerous people who died in car accidents, from heart attacks, from cancer, from guns, and from other things. Life is dangerous and nobody gets out of life alive. We have a 100% chance of dying.
That said, I have no desire for a ride on a life flight helicopter or a permanent seat in a wheelchair. I do not wish to leave my wife to fend for herself or my children to be raised by somebody else and I'm not sure I'm quite prepared to meet my maker just yet.
Now I have established that motorcycles are dangerous but that the rider can tilt the odds somewhat better in his favor it is on to the decision.
I want the motorcycle for the following reasons:
- To enjoy putting along on the plentiful back country trails and forest service roads near where I live.
- I want to live before I die. I can die falling in the shower or in an auto accident. Big Macs and the like kill far more people than motorcycles.
- For last resort emergency transportation if gas reaches $10 a gallon and is scarce (OK that one is a stretch).
I believe I can mitigate the risk sufficiently that it is an acceptable one. I do not desire to ride much on the street. The odds are against you but a few fair weather commutes to work could be good for the mind.
The trails I can greatly control by putting along at a reasonable speed. The highways are a combat zone and I have only so much control over that risk. I have no desire to go into combat one bit less protected than I have to. The bike needs to be street legal to get to the trails or from one trail to another but the street is no place to hang out on two wheels for this middle aged body.
And the decision is......
I want a motorcycle. I've signed up for the motorcycle safety course...
But...
The safety course is as far as I am going for now but not for the reasons that you might think.
First, I have about 10 lofty goals that must be achieved before I will allow myself to buy a motorcycle.
The decision comes down to time and money. Children, wife, educational pursuits, church, and work ensure that I have no time for riding the trails and no money to spend on a motorcycle anytime soon.
I will just ride the trails in my mind for now while I work on my goals. My heart tells me that the time will come that I'll be happily putting along and enjoying the outdoors on my bike but not in the very near future.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
THE AUDIT PROCESS
Manager: “Here is your audit budget. Go do the audit. How long will it take.”
Auditor: “Hello, I’m here to do the audit.”
Fiscal Officer: “We are glad to see you (lie). Here is the broom closet you can work in. Please don’t get too comfortable so you will leave quickly.”
Manager: “Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
“Why are you looking at that? Keep your focus on what is important.”
“Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
“You need to be done by Friday.”
“Why are you looking at that? We need to keep focus on what is important.”
“I called and you were not at the desk.”
“I sent you an email and you did not respond within 10 milliseconds.”
“You must not make up any hours you missed because your child was in the ER. We must stick to a strict schedule here.”
“Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
Manager: “You can finish that in the office.” (Or.. you’ve been there too long. It makes me look bad. Get back here so we can keep an eye on you sorry, incompetent, dishonest self. Why are you not like Mr political, jock, wonder boy?)
Fiscal Officer: “Thanks for coming. Glad you are going. Don’t hurry to get back. Thanks for what you found (lie).”
Auditor arrives in the office with a mess of audit work papers.
Manager: “Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
Finish jumping through the audit useless workpaper format hoops.
Turn in to manager:
A few days, weeks, or months later...
Manager: Here are your review notes:
You did not underline in red.
This index does not match.
Your work is not easy to follow.
This heading is missing.
Why did you not look at that?
This does not add up.
You did not inital this page?
Does this page really need to be here?
You did not write the purpose and source on this page.
Where is the support for these numbers?
Is this really worthy of a finding?
Can we water it down a little more?
Did you write the update letter?
When will you be done with the review notes?
Auditor: Calls Fiscal Officer, “I need to get this, this, and that.” (because I was rushed out because I had to be done by Friday).
Auditor: Turns in the revised work and the update letter.
Manager: “This, that, and this are still wrong.”
“Is this really an issue? Can we water down the issue some more?”
“You need to rewrite the update letter.”
Manager approves the update letter.
Auditor takes update letter to Fiscal Officer.
Fiscal Officer: “Thanks” (Lie)
Manager: “You took too long. You need to stay focused.”
“Here is your next audit assignment. When will you be done?”
The workpapers go on the shelf for one to three years.
Subsequent auditor on the next audit of the same place: “Why did that idiot do it this way?”
Workpapers go back on the shelf never to be looked at again unless a major issue blows up. In that case the workpapers are thoroughly reviewed to see why the stupid auditor was not focused on the problem at hand? Where were the auditors? Why was this not in the audit report? Can we sue them?
Auditor: “Hello, I’m here to do the audit.”
Fiscal Officer: “We are glad to see you (lie). Here is the broom closet you can work in. Please don’t get too comfortable so you will leave quickly.”
Manager: “Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
“Why are you looking at that? Keep your focus on what is important.”
“Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
“You need to be done by Friday.”
“Why are you looking at that? We need to keep focus on what is important.”
“I called and you were not at the desk.”
“I sent you an email and you did not respond within 10 milliseconds.”
“You must not make up any hours you missed because your child was in the ER. We must stick to a strict schedule here.”
“Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
Manager: “You can finish that in the office.” (Or.. you’ve been there too long. It makes me look bad. Get back here so we can keep an eye on you sorry, incompetent, dishonest self. Why are you not like Mr political, jock, wonder boy?)
Fiscal Officer: “Thanks for coming. Glad you are going. Don’t hurry to get back. Thanks for what you found (lie).”
Auditor arrives in the office with a mess of audit work papers.
Manager: “Are you done yet? When will you be done?”
Finish jumping through the audit useless workpaper format hoops.
Turn in to manager:
A few days, weeks, or months later...
Manager: Here are your review notes:
You did not underline in red.
This index does not match.
Your work is not easy to follow.
This heading is missing.
Why did you not look at that?
This does not add up.
You did not inital this page?
Does this page really need to be here?
You did not write the purpose and source on this page.
Where is the support for these numbers?
Is this really worthy of a finding?
Can we water it down a little more?
Did you write the update letter?
When will you be done with the review notes?
Auditor: Calls Fiscal Officer, “I need to get this, this, and that.” (because I was rushed out because I had to be done by Friday).
Auditor: Turns in the revised work and the update letter.
Manager: “This, that, and this are still wrong.”
“Is this really an issue? Can we water down the issue some more?”
“You need to rewrite the update letter.”
Manager approves the update letter.
Auditor takes update letter to Fiscal Officer.
Fiscal Officer: “Thanks” (Lie)
Manager: “You took too long. You need to stay focused.”
“Here is your next audit assignment. When will you be done?”
The workpapers go on the shelf for one to three years.
Subsequent auditor on the next audit of the same place: “Why did that idiot do it this way?”
Workpapers go back on the shelf never to be looked at again unless a major issue blows up. In that case the workpapers are thoroughly reviewed to see why the stupid auditor was not focused on the problem at hand? Where were the auditors? Why was this not in the audit report? Can we sue them?
About this Blog
Yes, the address is starGATE not starDATE but stardate was taken and I don't want thousands of trekkies stopping by anyway.
So, I hope you enjoy the blog and "Live Long and Prosper".
So, I hope you enjoy the blog and "Live Long and Prosper".
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